Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Waiting...again




Arggghhh!! While the chest biopsy came out clean, my oncologist still wonders what came up on the P.E.T. Scan and therefore, has recommended that I go for further testing. This would mean that my mastectomy will be delayed and that I will have to go through a much more invasive chest biopsy. Needless to say this was a blow considering I had thought the news indicated that the cancer had not spread and that my surgery was still on for February 20th.

In the meantime, they have put me on hormone treatment for the next five years that will stop the cancer cells from multiplying but unfortunately has varying side affects ranging from blurry vision to infertility...now realizing that the side effects of curing my cancer will be as brutal, if not more, than the cancer itself.

Regardless, I am constantly reminded of the amazing support from family, friends, and people I don't even know wishing me good health, strength, and happiness. Today I received a handmade blanket from one of my mom's friends that had pictures of my entire family on it, my aunt is taking cookie requests, and the democrats are organizing build-a-bear parties. My posse of friends, whom have been with me since the day I was diagnosed, have proven that with their strength and love that I will get through this. Most importantly Brooke has temporarily relocated here and I truly cannot convey the peace that I felt when she told me she was coming. So despite the fact that I will lose my breasts, Brooke will always be there to make me whole!! Finally, I must acknowledge the one who has sacrificed the most so far, my brother-in-law Mike, who has graciously loaned me his wife during this time. No sister could have asked for a more caring brother to sacrifice so much-with family like this, how can I not be inspired to kick some cancer @ss as quickly as possible!!

9 comments:

Unknown said...

Oh Lindsay, what incredibly frustrating news. It is nice to read your words of strength and encouragement though. I'm so glad that you have Brooke there and such a powerful circle of friends and family (and strangers) to support you through this rollercoaster of diagnosis and testing. No doubt all of this coming at you before you even get to the 'healing' part must be extremely difficult to swallow. Try not to let it discourage you. Certainly easier said than done, I'm sure. Keep asking questions and speaking up about your concerns and those things that are most important to you during your treatment ... sometimes simply knowing more brings comfort and helps us feel a bit more grounded when our bodies are no longer in 'our' control.

You really are an incredible woman ... I hope the added tests bring good news!

Take care of you!!!!
-Gretchen

Anonymous said...

Ditto on Gretchen.

I really believe cancer treatment is a custom job. They want to get it right the first time.

Hang tough. You are loved and valued!

XOXO

Susan

Anonymous said...

Linz - you're my rock and my hero. This is a speedbump in your life, and you'll get through it victorious as usual. You (along with the Tier 1 posse) will kick some serious cancer ass. We're here with ya Starfighter.

Goob

sonia said...

Dear Lindsey, Greetings from Robert and Sonia. You have no idea how much you are in our thoughts.......Robert says over and over, "their part of our family".... all of you are. Patti has probably told you we are headed to Amhurt, MA Friday to celebrate Gretel Ehrlich husband's 70th birthday. Monday we will visit grandpa and we are most excited about a tour of area where Patti grew up. We will give Harry special hugs and kisses from you. You are an amazing woman, we are so proud of you; your courage, stamina snd yes, your delightful sense of humor during this frustrating wait. Love, Sonia and Robert

Unknown said...

Lindsay - Just know we all share in your frustration and disappointment in this delay, and the thought of more procedures. The positive is that we all know your team of docs is being thorough (if not I'll sue the heck out of them;), stay strong and we'll get through this.

To help, I've started making a blanket of my own. But need help though - how do you keep the toilet paper sheets from tearing when you tape them together? ;)

j/k, thank god you like me for reasons other than my domestic abilities. Love you sweetie - and thinking about you all the time! Looking forward to the good news which I know is coming, can't wait to swing you around my living room again!

Stacy O said...

Oh Lindsay, I am sorry. That is definitely frustrating. I love your positive attitude, you are so inspiring. You have such an amazing support system, that is wonderful to have your sister with you! Take care, and I can't wait to see you next month!

Anonymous said...

Oh Lindsay! We are with you baby! I am so happy you have Brooke with you as well as your extended family. The journey you are undertaking will only make you stronger. That may seem daunting, but that is what we are here for... to lift you up when you need us.

Alicia

Anonymous said...

Thinking about you today as you wait for yet more results. Try to remember that this disease business is one that brings frustration, good news one day, so-so news the next and occasional bad news. It does not ever mean that you won't win out! The terrible part is learning all...the good part is knowing all. So glad Brooke is there to help you through all this. We love you and wait with you for today's news.
Marilyn and the rest of the Leuszlers.

Anonymous said...

Remember the "Itty, Bitty, Titty, Committee"? Even thought you have not had the requirements to stay in this committee for sometime now, it will be hard to say good-buy to your titties! I'm so sorry for that Lindsay! I want you to know that I am thinking of you and your mom. I care about you and your family! I hope that your next set of tests go well and find nothing more. Keep up your strength and enjoy spending time with Brooke while she is in town. Love Ya! Jeannette