Monday, June 30, 2008

Nearing the Finish Line

So I am less than a week away from my last chemotherapy and I find myself experiencing an array of emotions. Most obviously, I am extremely excited to end the three week rounds of chemotherapy. But another odd emotion is also hitting's a sense of loss that is really starting to hit me. I have begun to really miss my old ta tas. I guess when I had the mastectomy, there was so much more I still had to go through that I never had time to really deal with the loss. Now that the treatment is over, it's really starting to hit me how my breasts will never feel natural again, that I will never be able to sleep on my stomach, or breast feed in the unlikely chance that I will be able to bear children.

I am also starting to feel a sense of loss of control. I have spent the last six months fighting this cancer and after this last treatment, I won't be doing anything proactive to fight the cancer. I have spent all my energy, time, and emotions to fight this endless division of my's hard to imagine what comes afterwards.

However, I do look forward to my change in title from someone WITH breast cancer to a SURVIVOR of breast cancer!! In this regard, I will be walking in the Susan G. Komen cancer walk on September 8th. I can't wait to wear the pink survivor t-shirt :) I can't say enough how much support I have received and how important it has been getting me through this. I ask now for your final support to help other women with breast cancer become survivors. If you would like to support my team or contribute, please go to my Personal Page Link at: or my Team Page Link at: